


I Wrote This For You

by love_ari



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: High School AU, M/M, Sad! Harry, Suicide Attempt, and summaries, but yeah just be careful, fuck i suck at tagging, idk what else to put so i'm done, not really - Freeform, trigger warning, writer! louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-12 03:30:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2094063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/love_ari/pseuds/love_ari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis has a crush on a boy with cuts on his arm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Wrote This For You

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my lovely beta babe, [Erin](http://sickwithlarryngitis.tumblr.com/). She's sweet, supportive, and one of the best people I have ever spoken with so go check her out (: Also, she's my new bae (; xx
> 
> this is a bit personal, so let me know if you like it or not (:

School has always been plain to everyone.  


But more so to Louis Tomlinson.

He’d rather be away from the cruel world. Locked up, shutting the day lights out because for some unknown reason, he had always loved the dark. It was his comfort; like his home almost.

The only thing he really enjoyed about school was his last lesson of the day: creative writing. It was his favourite subject, and he had always had a love for words. He dreamed that one day he would construct a book filled will beautiful pages that would impact people in ways that would change their lives, change their thinking, and change their hearts.  
 

Though, that’s not the only reason he liked school. There was a boy, who swept Louis off his feet with just one smile.

Harry Styles.  
 

"Alright class, please settle down," the teacher tried to calm the noisy class., Louis’ pencil-eraser was hitting against his notepad as he waited for further instruction, and as he admired Harry from the back of the class.

"We’re working on narrative poetry this week. It can be whatever you like, about anything you like; nothing too inappropriate, but make it from the heart." She clapped her hands together. "Alright, get started and I can’t wait to see what you cuties come up with at the end of the week." She took a seat at her desk.

Louis continued to watch the back of Harry’s head as he ducked down and began to write scribbles in his notebook. Louis liked how Harry’s curls flipped slightly against the back of his neck. He has a lovely neck, actually.

His mind began going at hyper speed as slight words of inspiration came through his brain, and anxiousness flowed to his fingertips.  


_I like your neck._ He wrote, trying to figure out what else about Harry he could write about.

_It looks soft and I want to leave purple crescent shapes on it._

_Your hands are nice too;, I sometimes imagine them in mine._

_It doesn’t have to mean anything_

_but you mean a lot to me._

_I don’t understand why_

_but please come and talk to me._

_All I long for is to hear your warm voice in my ear._

_all I want is you._

 

“‘S not too bad,.” Louis whispered to himself, reading over the short poem once more.

Taking a deep breath he looked up from his desk once more, glancing at Harry’s legs. They were spread wide, and Louis thought naughty things of what he would do to get inbetween Harry’s legs. Or let Harry get inbetween his legs.

_Let’s do dirty things_

_Let’s play house_

_I’ll play dad and you can be mom_

_Or you can be dad and I will be mom_

_or maybe we’ll be neither._

_What kind of world do we live in where thereare designated roles for the two of us?_

_We’re equals you and I._

_The only difference between us is,_

_I care for you, and you don’t know I exist._

_I’m nothing to you, and you’re everything to me._

 

The bell went off, and Louis exited school, returning home and into the comfort of his room.

 

A blush crept up on his cheeks as he laid in bed, wishing Harry’s long body was adjacent to his, wrapping his arm around him, and kissing his hair. Then Louis would move to kiss his lips, and move to straddle him; grinding his hips against Harry’s. Then Harry’s large hands would feel along the small of Louis’ back. It wouldn’t be like sex, it would be like, intimacy. It would be simple and sweet.

 

***

 

The next day passed, but Louis hadn’t managed to get any writing down.

He felt an emotional blockage, and he didn’t like it. He prayed to God for just a small creative word;, he even looked out the window dramatically, like they do in movies. But nothing helped. He just watched Harry, and as they exited school he found Harry walking alone, his head hung low. Harry had never really been one to be completely out there. He’d talk back if you talked to him, but he usually kept to himself. There had been a rumour going around that over the summer he was sent to a mental ward for threatening someone. But also that he attempted suicide. Those bloody awful rumours made Louis’ skin crawl; he often wondered why a beautiful person, like Harry, would try to kill themselves.

***

 Wednesday was good and bad at the same time. It was slow, but once it was over, the rest of the week goes by too fast.  


_You’re wearing all black today._

_You wear all black everyday._

_Every once in a while you wear a band t-shirt or one with some design on it._

_but today, you’re wearing completely black._

_Why?_

_Are Wednesday’s bad for you?_

_Do you not like them?_

_Or am I just paying too much attention to you?_

_My mother always told me I think too much._  
  


He sighed, leaning back in his chair, tossing his pencil a bit too loudly. "That’s beautiful, Mr. Tomlinson,." the teacher murmured, scaring Louis. "Thank you,." he whispered, feeling heat in his cheeks and his heart beating fast. She leant down to whisper in his ear. "It’s funny how Mr. Styles is the only one wearing all black today,." she smirked, standing up then returning to check on the other students.

"Fuck,." Louis whispered to himself.  


_One day, I heard saw you listening to music._

_When I got home, I listened to every band_

_of every shirt you’ve ever worn._

_And now I’m mad at you for that._

_Because soon, that music alone isn’t enough for me._

_I want your whole iTunes library._

_And every cassette tape and CD and vinyl you’ve ever even thought about._

_Then I want your music._

_It doesn’t need to be singing, or guitar playing._

_Even though I know you’re a talented guitar player._

_It could just be you breathing next to me._

_That would suffice._

It’s finally Thursday, and Louis arrives to class late. "Better show up on time, Mr. Tomlinson," the instructor shook her head. "I’ve made a new seating arrangement." She peeked at her list. "You’re next to..…umm Harry." She looked at the empty seat next to the curly-haired guy. He smiled. Fuck, he smiled. Louis felt his knees weaken and his hands were shaking as he went to take his new seat. He felt slightly insecure being in the front. He felt like he was in everyone’s way, and his feathery hair was blocking the view from the board. And it didn’t help that his crush was sitting next to him. "You alright?" Harry turned to ask Louis as his shaky hand reached for his binder and pen. "Ye-yeah, ‘m fine thanks." Louis mumbled, before catching sight of Harry’s arm. It hurt his stomach, seeing the deep red lines on Harry’s arm. They seemed to get worse further down his arm and then disappeared into his shirt. Louis wanted to cry at the sight of this beautiful person hurting themselves in such a way., He wanted to ask why. He wanted to get on his knees and pull Harry in his arms and kiss the scars on his arm, and where ever else they were. He wanted to make Harry feel loved. _There are these red lines on your arm._

_Why are they there?_

_What hurt you so bad that your broke your skin?_

_Were you searching for something?_

_Something in your veins?_

_Did you find it?_

_Maybe you were searching for me._

_Not to sound self-centered or anything, but_

_Whatever it is, I’ll help you find it._

_I don’t want you hurting yourself in that way._

_I want to fix you, and make you whole again._

_Let me hold you in my arms till you’re better._

_Till those red lines are faded and transparent._

_I’ll be with you through it all._

_And maybe I’ll become whole too._

He snuck another peek at Harry. Muscles twitched in his forearm when he found himself completely captivated by the gorgeous boy next to him. He liked his soft, chocolate curls, and his hidden ears. Also, the length of his eyelashes was so extraordinary, all he wanted was to run his lips against them. He didn’t dare look at his arms again, it hurt him in this deep agonizing way. ’ ‘What’s Beautiful..’was titled at the top of Harry’s paper, along with some scribbles of little drawings and words. "You’re beautiful,." Louis whispered to himself, then carefully watched Harry as his eye moved slightly to see where the words came from, but he didn’t care enough to see that it was from Louis, or that Louis was addressing him.

Anxiety hit him like a speeding train, and he was completely inspired. His hand was aching from how hard, and fast he was writing, but he didn’t care, he needed to write down what he was feeling, he had to write his poem; Harry’s poem.

"Alright everyone, staple your poem and turn them into the basket before you." The instructor spoke just a minute before the bell rang and everyone was shuffling for the stapler. Louis decided to avoid it all and just take his time putting his things away, and finally everyone was gone, even Harry. He moved to use the stapler, and place his work in the basket. "He writes about you too,." Mrs. Tate spoke, smiling at Louis. Louis was tempted to argue, or deny that he was writing about him, but he couldn’t. He simply smiled and went home.

***

 

"Alright class, I read all of your poems and they’re so fantastic!" she clapped her hands.

 

"But I do want to read my top two like always; remember it all stays anonymous," she smiled, then stood at the front of the class. "This one is titled, "I’ll Stitch You Up,." she said, not making eye contact with anyone, but Louis’ stomach lunged inside itself when Ms. Tate announced she was reading his work. He felt so betrayed by her, and to think she was his favourite.

"I watch you a lot," she began reading Louis’ biggest regret.

"I like to watch you do the little things that you do.

Like when you’re writing and you take your lip between your teeth.

Or when the veins in your arm shift from your arm being strained.

But my favourite thing about you is your eyes.

They’re such a perfect colour, that I can’t even compare them to anything really.

Though, the other day, I saw these lines on your wrist, and I can’t compare them to anything really either.

I want to take your arm, and place soft kisses on the red indentations. I want to heal them and make them better.

But most of all, I want to know why they’re there in the first place.

Do you hate yourself?

Do you hate your mother?

Do you hate the way other people make you feel?

What made you hurt yourself in such a way that makes me cringe when I think about it?

Whatever pain you have, I’ll take it away.

I’ll make you better.

I’ll give you a bit of my sun and you can give me all your rain, and together we can weather the storm.

I’ll stitch you up and make you safe.

I’ll be yours, and you can be mine.

I would like that very much, and I’m sorry that I make this about me constantly; I’m a very selfish person,

but I care about you even though you don’t know I want to breathe your air every moment of every day.”

 

People clapped and looked around for whoever had written the poem;, if anyone had paid attention to Louis’ glowing cheeks, they would’ve known it was him. But no one’s ever really paid attention to him.

 

“The next one is called ‘I Hope He Knows He’s Beautiful,’” Ms Tate said.

 

"Why do you hang your head down?

And stay silent all the time?

You just sit there in your seat, staring at the ground.

I hope you don’t feel the same things I do.

It would crush me to think that you felt worthless, or ugly, or not good enough

. Because you are above and beyond. I hope you know you’re beautiful.

You’re practically the definition.

 I think it’s your eyes that won me over.

You see, I’ve never really been a fan of the colour blue,

 but the moment you looked at me, suddenly it was my favourite colour.”

Louis was taken aback with the words that were written. The way the light peeked through the window, it showed the indentions on the paper, and Louis wanted the nice writing written all over his skin; for now, they had to stay in his heart. He felt a bit of a blush when he heard blue eyes. For once he was more than happy about his eyes.

 

"So to whoever wrote these, you know who you are.  They’re beautiful,." she smiled, not making eye contact with Louis. "Alright, there’s only a few minutes left, so, our next project is a research report on authors, and I’m going to assign you partners-" Annoyed groans spread around the room, a few complaints were spoken, but not a lot of people really minded.

"Alright so..…" she shuffled through her papers. "Kyle..…and Matt, you two are partners." A high five was heard from behind Louis. "Lexi and Todd, Page and Hayden… George and Lucy." Louis looked to his left, at a blushing Lucy. Everyone in the class knew that George and Lucy had been crushing on each other for most of the year. "And..…Louis and Harry, you two are partners." Louis’ heart dropped, and his mouth slightly opened. He turned to the gorgeous boy next to him, who was already looking at him; Harry smiled and Louis smiled back then quickly faced his desk once more. "Alright, well it’s an out of class project, so it’s best to meet out somewhere after school., Here are all the requirements." Ms. Tate passed out the papers, as the bell rang.

"Hey.. Louis?"

"Yeah mate?" Louis looked up to face Harry, whose’s height surpassed Louis’ small form. He felt insecure about the few inches, but he brushed it aside and focused on his eyes.

"I hope you don’t mind, I just kind of want to get this project over with, so is it okay if we work on it over the weekend?" Harry asked, looking at his toes. Louis had never really heard Harry’s voice.

Only a few times when Mrs. Tate would call on him, but it was always quiet. Louis was surprised at how deep, and rugged his tone was. "Uhh..…yeah yeah, that’s fine. Umm…when’s a good time?" Louis asked.

"Umm…you can come over around..… now if that’s okay?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, do you need a lift?" Louis replied.

"Sure, thanks mate." Harry smiled shyly, pink sprinkling his cheeks.

"Well, come on then," Louis nodded towards the outside of the classroom. He quickly looked behind him to find Ms. Tate smirking.

The two boys entered Louis’ car, silent until Louis turned on his stereo and Arctic Monkeys began playing.

"You like Arctic Monkeys?" Harry asked, a smile growing on his precious face.

"Yeah mate, they’re sick. Love them." Louis smiled knowing Harry had been a fan of the band as well. The only reason he knew about them was because of a shirt Harry wore once.

"You should check out The Vaccines,." Harry spoke, "They’re a bit more.. indie. But still fantastic." "I’ll be honest, they’re already on my iPod." Louis giggled; Harry had worn a t-shirt with them on it as well. Harry simply smiled at Louis, a light pink sprinkling in his cheeks as they continued on to Harry’s house.  


"I honestly can’t believe we’re done with that project,." Louis exclaimed three and a half hours later.

It had been the most fucking amazing three and a half hours ever in Louis’ whole life. He had gotten close with a boy he had a slight crush on. They finished a fifty-point project, and they had plans for next Saturday.

It was so perfect.

"Well I gotta go," Louis said as he read a text from his mum.

"Alright, let me walk you out,." Harry smiled, raising his sleeve lightly, and Louis caught sight of the red lines. Trying to not let it bother him, he thought he’d ask Harry about it when they’re better acquainted.

"So I’ll see you next Saturday?" Louis asked smiling.

"Yeah totally, I’m so psyched. Never been to laser tag." Harry smiled, leaning on his door seal.

"See you later Harry,.." Louis waved.

"Wait!" Harry reached for Louis’ hand.

"You’re a great person Lou, I hope you know that." Harry smiled, squeezing lightly at Louis’ handbefore returning inside.

Leaving Louis puzzled by his words, and his lack of words. When Louis returned home, he felt like he was glowing everywhere. Like every blood cell in his body was on fire, and he was burning.

 

***

 

Monday rolled around, and Harry was absent, which was odd as, Harry was known for his perfect attendance record. Louis was shocked and disappointed.

Tuesday came and yet again, Harry wasn’t present.

On Wednesday, Ms. Tate looked distraught as she stared at her computer screen. No one really knew what to do since she just sat there for a bit, letting whatever information she received sink in.

Eventually she stood from her desk and walked to the board, clearing her throat. “Good afternoon class. Umm….. I don’t know if anyone has heard or.. I don’t know, but your classmate Harry Styles, he ususally sits in the front, great kid.. uhmm.. great writer. Sweet boy,” she was shakey, and soft with her words. , Louis was beginning to worry.

"He attempted suicide Saturday night,." she announced.

The scary words echoed inside Louis’ head over and over again. His stomach felt like it was turning inside out, he felt his body collapse inside itself;, he was ready to fall on the ground and break into many,  many pieces.

"He’ll be returning soon, most likely, so just be… careful." She took a seat at her desk, "Just work on your projects for the remainder of the time,." she sighed, grabbing so a tissue and wiping her eyes and nose slightly.

Partners paired up together, discussing their projects, some discussing Harry and how they figured he was just a quiet person.

Louis wanted to slit his wrist too.

He could’ve helped Harry. , mMaybe if he had stayed a bit longer, he could’ve talked to Harry, and Harry would’ve never tried to kill himself.

But Harry did.  


And Louis felt sick.

He closed his eyes, wishing for the sickening feeling to remove itself from his body, but the more the dark came over his eyes, the more he felt sick. And the more he missed Harry. Not even his personality, just his presence. Things felt better when Harry was around. More complete.

"This is his hospital room,." Ms Tate said, handing Louis a slip of paper. "You better leave,." she winked.

"I won’t get in any trouble?"

"Not if you don’t get caught,." she laughed, going back to her desk.

Louis sadly smiled, and grabbed his things, quickly leaving the room and driving as fast as the road rules permitted to get to the hospital.

He took a moment and thought about grabbing something, like flowers or a magazine, maybe a snack. But he didn’t know what Harry liked.

It was too late, so he hoped it was enough that he was at the hospital. He took a few deep breaths, and made his way to the floor Harry was on.

Finding the correct room was difficult at first, but he eventually walked in.

"Excuse me?" someone spoke.

"It’s alright mum," Harry mumbled from the bed. "He’s a friend."

"Sorry," Louis looked at the lovely lady, "I just uh..…c Came to see how he was,." he explained.

"That’s alright, umm.. Harry, I’m going to talk to your friend really quick, just a moment."

The women grabbed Louis by his forearm, taking him out to the hall.

"Listen, I appreciate you coming here and checking in on Harry. He really needs it, and.. I don’t think I’m the one that can give it to him, you know? He’s not very happy, and I can’t seem to make him better, so maybe you could cheer him up?"

"Yeah yeah, I don’t mind. I just…yeah, I can do that."

"And please, don’t ask him why. His therapist says it’s much too soon to ask yet,." she smiled

at Louis, then walked backed into the room, Louis following closely behind.

"Alright darling, I’m going home to shower and I’ll be back a bit before dinner, okay?" She spoke whilst gathering her things and pulling the chair closer for Louis to sit next to Harry’s cot.

"Okay, see you later mum,." Harry sighed, his eyes following Louis as he took a seat.

"You’re so pretty, you know that right?" Harry said abruptly, his eyes gleaming as they stared into Louis’.

"What kind of medicine do they have you on? I want some,." Louis giggled.

Harry just laughed it off, but he was genuine in his compliment.  


Louis tried to avoid looking at Harry’s bandaged wrists. But his eyes kept drifting to the red tinted fabric.

"Do you want to see them?" Harry asked, nodding towards his wrists.

"Not right now, when you’re better." Louis shook his head.

"Mum thinks I’m not stable enough yet. They were going to send me to a mental ward, you know? But Mum fought with them, saying things like ‘it’s just a phase,’ and ‘going somewhere like that’ will only make me worse."

"Do you want to go to a mental ward?" Louis asked.

"Yes, but then no at the same time."

"Why?"

"Well, I want to go because I think it’ll help a bit, and I won’t be around as many people. And no, because then I’ll be away from you,." he admitted, red slightly showing in his pale features.

"Me?"

"You."

"You’re way too drugged up, aren’t you?" Louis laughed on the outside as his insides were doing the complete opposite, and Louis struggled to calm his nerves.

"You want to know a secret, Lou?"

"Tell me."

"That poem, the second one Ms. Tate read, I wrote it for you."

"Harry-" Louis was interrupted by the impolite ringing of his cellphone.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Louis Tomlinson! Where are you? You need to come home, I’m almost late for my shift!" his mother was screeching through the speaker, dim noises of the twins arguing in the background.

"Sorry, I’ll be right there." Louis hung up, "I have to go, sorry, but-"

"Come back tomorrow, please?" Harry asked, his hand reaching for Louis.

"I’ll be here,." Louis smiled, lightly squeezing Harry’s hand and exiting the room.

***  


Louis did show up the next day.

He walked in slowly, as Anne stood up to give Harry the same reason for leaving as the day before. She smiled at Louis as she exited the room.

"Hi Lou,." Harry smiled.

"Hi Harry,." Louis replied, smling as he looked at the ground.

"Are you going to make sweet love to me now?" Harry teased and Louis figured he was still on strong painkillers.

"Oh gosh," Louis laughed, taking a seat.

"They’re releasing me today,." Harry said. , "At exactly six o’clock they’re letting me leave. Then I go back to school on Monday."

"So,.. we still up for Saturday then?" Louis smiled.

"Yes, as long as you want to."

"Wouldn’t miss it." Louis thought about saying something like ’ ‘I’m glad you didn’t die, I don’t like laser tagging alone.’

"I missed you,." Harry spoke. "And I’m not on drugs."

"Stop, you’re making me blush,." Louis laughed.

"I love your laugh. You should laugh more,." Harry smiled.

"I love your smile, I’d wish you’d smile more,." Louis countered.

"I only smile when you talk, so talk more and I’ll smile more,." Harry murmured.

Louis smiled, leaning back in the hospital chair. He began thinking for a moment; it seemed

that it was obvious that both him and Harry had feelings for each other. So, asking him out on a date wouldn’t be too crazy.

"Harry, how about instead of laser tag on Saturday, I take you out."

"Like… on a date?" Harry asked, furrowing his brows.

"Yeah, a date." Louis looked at his toes.

"I’d love to,." Harry whispered.

They continued talking., Louis caught Harry up on all the things that had been going on atschool. Louis may not talk much, but he listens to almost everything. If anybody cared to ask, he could tell you all the gossip in the whole school. It was nice for both of them, one talking and the other smiling and laughing after the crazy few days he’d had. Eventually, visiting hours came to a close and Louis had to leave.

"Alright, I’ll pick you up at seven, Saturday night."

"Don’t be late,." Harry smiled teasingly.

"Never for an important date," Louis smiled, leaning down to kiss Harry on the cheek.

  


***

Louis was really nervous.

His hands were shaking and he was messing with his hair more than usual. He made sure his shirt was wrinkle-free and his pants were extra clean. His knees felt wobbly as he got out of his vehicle and walked up to Harry’s porch.

"Hi Louis!" Anne answered the door, "Come in, come in,." she smiled, patting him lightly on the back as he entered the Styles home.

"So, Harry is still getting ready, but I just wanted to talk to you for a moment,." she waved her arm to the couch.

"I’ve tried asking Harry so many times why he felt he had no choice but to hurt himself. I’ve tried being supportive, but I just don’t know what to do. I want him to be happy, and I did know about his cutting over the summer. But he didn’t attempt suicide then. But when you came into that hospital room, well, that was the first time he had spoken to me since the morning he attempted. So I just wanted to thank you, and I want you to take care of my little boy, okay?" Anne wrapped her arms around Louis’ neck; thanking him with a hug. "If you hurt him, I’ll murder you,." she whispered in his ear.

Then once foot-steps were heard from the stairs, she let go of the semi-frightened Louis. He didn’t want to say anything out loud, but he was more afraid of Harry hurting him, as opposed to him hurting Harry.

"Hi Louis," Harry spoke, placing his phone in his pocket. Louis was already feeling light from seeing him out of a hospital bed.

He’d pictured this moment so many times, but he didn’t know what to say because now it was’s actually fucking happening and he’s so fucking happy he almost forgets how to breathe.

"Hi Harry," he smiled.

"Right, well you boys have a fun time. Don’t be too late,." she kissed Harry’s cheek.

"Mummm," he nagged, wiping the lipstick residue from his cheek.

"Oh, I’m sure Louis wasn’t planning on kissing you there anyways,." she laughed.

"Mum," Harry face-palmed while Louis’ felt like his face was on fire.

"Alright, alright. Have a good time,." she smiled, patting both the boys on the back while they went outside onto the porch, heading out to Louis’ car.

"Wait, before you go in,." Louis paused, walking over to open the door. "After you love,." he winked flirtingly as Harry entered the vehicle. "Such a gentleman,." he commented, laughing.

 

`~*~*~*~

 

"Umm….. Louis?" Harry asked as Louis started driving away from his home.

"Yes, dear?" he turned to smile at him.

"Hope this doesn’t ruin your plans or anything, but..…" Harry looked at his lap, his tummy churning with nerves.

"What is it, Harry?" Louis asked, trying not to sound too concerned.

"Well, I was hoping you hadn’t picked a place too crowded? Sorry if that sounds rude, and ruins everything. I’m sorry." Harry apologized, bringing his sweater up to cover his hands.

"Umm…w.. Well, do you think a big field of grass is too crowded?" Louis asked smiling, rubbing Harry’s shoulder gently. "Don’t worry Haz, you’ll be safe with me.”

For once, Harry actually believed someone again. After everything with he-who-must-not-be-named, Harry hadn’t really taken an interest sharing himself with others again. He would rather just have himself, do whatever to himself: t. Talk to himself, hurt himself, hate himself.

But in this moment, being in the air-conditioned car with Louis, someone he’d been crushing on for a while now, he felt something he hadn’t in a very long time -safe.

*** "Hope you like take-out Chinese because that’s the only thing I’m good at ordering,." Louis blushed as he took out the containers and chop-sticks.

"I haven’t had take-out in so long,." Harry spoke, taking one box and opening it cautiously, taking a bite and closing his eyes as he enjoyed the saltiness take over his senses "So much better than hospital food,." he marvelled.

"I’m sure. My mum always complains about how bland it is,." Louis nodded, pulling out a liter of cola and two red-solo cups.

"I’ve never been out here before. Like I always think about it, but never really do,." Harry said, as he moved to lie down on his belly on the plaid blanket Louis had brought.

"Yeah, I like to come out here at night. The stars are much brighter, and it’s nice and quiet,." Louis replied, moving to join Harry and hand him his cup of cola.

"Cheers,." they said in unison, tapping their cups together.

"What other kinds of music do you like?" Harry asked.

"The National is pretty great. Just heard their new c.d. It’s sick,." Louis smiled.

"Never heard of them," Harry shook his head.

"I’ll burn you a disc then, babe,." Louis smiled, hoping Harry didn’t hear him say "babe."

"Babe,." Harry mumbled, smiling to himself, exposing his prominent dimples.

"And it’s really cool how they write their music,” Louis continued, “like they make the instrumental part first, then they write the lyrics."

"That’s different, I’ve never heard of that,." Harry nodded, eating more noodles.

"I think that’s why I like them; they care about the music part so much."

"Do you play any instruments?" Harry asked.

"No sadly, haven’t got any special skills,." Louis shrugged, sorting through his orange chicken.

"Oh hush, yes you do,." Harry lightly nudged him with his shoulder. "You’re a great writer, even Ms. Tate thinks so."

"How do you know?"

"She came to visit me after you left on Wednesday,." Harry smiled cheekily and Louis’ legs tingled;, he felt like he would faint or squeal. Something he would have to wait till Harry wasn’t around for anymore.

They chatted a bit further as, the sun set and the moon shone bright over the two boys that were madly crushing on each other. They both knew it was out there in the air between them. But neither dared to say anything about it; both were scared of rejection from the other.

At one point Louis caught himself looking at Harry’s wrists, quickly looking away once Harry had met his gaze.

"Do you want to see them?" Harry asked.

"No no, ugh.. Don’t want to make you uncomfortable,." Louis smiled, patting Harry’s hair.

"Or you don’t want to feel uncomfortable?" Harry countered, and Louis became nervous.

 

Fearful that he had said the wrong thing.

"Do you want the truth, Harry?" Louis asked.

"Please," Harry said, his head moving to his hand, leaning on his elbow to get a better view of Louis’ perfect eyes.

"It- it. It breaks my heart that you hurt yourself. When I first saw those scars, I wanted to take you in my arms and take all the pain away. Whatever it was, I wanted to take it away. I don’t understand why you do, but I want to stop it, because Harry..…" he paused to bring a hand to cup Harry’s cheek. "You’re not ugly. You’re not worthless. You’re important, and fuck. You’re too fucking beautiful. And to be completely honest, I don’t want to see them because it makes me regret never asking you out sooner, like maybe I could’ve made you happy in some way. Because that’s what you deserve; to be happy,." and with that, Louis pulled Harry’s head closer to his, kissing him hard on the mouth.

The sweet, chaste kisses shared between the two boys were making them fuzzy. Something they had wanted for a long time, but never thought would happen, was finally happening. And fuck, it’s the most extraordinary thing that could ever happen to them.

They held hands walking to the car.

They held hands in the car.

They kissed a bit longer whilst outside Harry’s home. Neither of them wanted to let go of the other. Louis fingers intertwined with Harry’s soft curls, and Harry held on to his neck and shoulder, trying to bring their bodies closer. Like in some way they were puzzle pieces; they completed each other.

They held hands walking to Harry’s front porch, both smiling and blushing. Neither one of them had felt so happy, and at peace at the same time. It was such a foreign feeling; and they were both grateful that no paranoia, of the euphoria going away, came about.

"Goodnight, Lou,." Harry whispered, pulling away and pressing another kiss to his cheek.

"Goodnight, Haz," Louis smiled, holding in the shrieks of happiness coursing through his

***  


Monday came around, and Louis couldn’t wait till the end of the day where he could sit and admire Harry sitting next to him.

But he couldn’t wait until then.

He found his pretty person in the corner of the lunch room where he usually was, reading a book with a few people around him that weren’t really paying attention to him. Louis partly wondered if they knew what had happened with Harry.

Harry had friends but he always looked lonely.

Louis wanted to punch himself in the face because he could’ve changed that.

"Hi, Haz,." Louis blushed, moving to sit next to him at the circular table.

"Hi, Lou,." Harry smiled up at him, his heart pounding loudly when Louis sat down.

They didn’t really know what to say;, they were both a bit nervous and shy. Also, with all the people in the room, they felt like they didn’t have enough privacy.

"What’ya reading?" Louis asked, peeking at Harry’s book.

"Umm.. "In Someone’s Shadow" by Rob McKuen. It’s just poems basically,." Harry smiled.

"Poems are so great."

"Aren’t they? They say such beautiful things, powerful things, funny things. But they’re short and relatable. Not some vampire/werewolf bullshit that’s novels long, you know?"

"I quite liked reading Twilight though,." Louis laughed. "Do you have a favourite?" he asked, nodding towards the book.

"Yeah..…Um….. This one," he showed Louis the page.  


_May 17 I believe that crawling into you_

_is going back into myself._

_That by the act of_

_joining hands with you_

_I become more of me._

_There are no whisky bars_

_for dancers like ourselves_

_and so we move into each other_

_like drunkards into open doorways._

_My need for you is near addiction._

_No sailor ever had tattoos_

_growing on his forearm_

_the way your smile_

_has willed itself back behind my eyes._

_It will not dissolve._

_It will not divide._

_For I am nothing if not you._

__  
  


"Oh, wow." Louis sighed, taking in the deep words. "That’s beautiful."

"Isn’t it?" Harry marvelled at the book.

They chatted a bit more., Louis wanted to ask if anyone had bothered to ask Harry about his situation seeing as the whole English class knew, but he thought best not to ask.

The bell rang, and the two boys looked at each other for a bit longer.

"I’ll see you in lit, yeah?" Louis asked, and his whole body wanted to curl into Harry as a slow smile spread across his face.

"Yeah."

***  


Louis waited outside of the English classroom for Harry. He didn’t want him to go through the door with the judgemental looks from their classmates by himself;, he wanted to be there for him since he wasn’t earlier.

"Hi Lou."

"Hi Haz,." Louis smiled, standing on his tiptoes to peck him lightly on the lips. "You okay?" he asked.

“‘M great now,.” Harry blushed, looking at their feet.

"Well, better go in then, don’t want to get shit for being late,." Louis nodded towards the door. As they walked in, Louis made sure to stand to the left of Harry, so he could be his shield and block him from all the glances and fake sad eyes.

A few whispers where heard, but no one made a big deal about Harry being back. The two boys sat in their seats, ready for their newest assignment.

***  


It came to the weekend in the blink of an eye for Louis. But for once, he didn’t spend his weekend locked away in his room watching YouTube videos.

He drove over to Harry’s, as his mother was going grocery shopping or something and didn’t really fancy Harry being alone anymore. Louis was more than happy to oblige.

Once Louis made it to the door, Harry opened it excitedly hugging him hard around the waist and kissing his cheek. Then moved to kiss him on the lips, cupping his jaw with his big hands.

"Hi,." he breathed against Louis’ mouth.

"Hi,." Louis answered, trying not to faint.  


"Do you want any tea or anything?" Harry asked, as he let Louis inside.

"Maybe later if that’s okay?"

"Yeah, babe it’s fine,." Harry smiled, and Louis wanted to pounce on him then. He loved how his body felt when Harry called him "babe" or "love" or any name other than his own.

"Let’s go upstairs,." Harry said, taking Louis’ hand and leading him to his room.

"I made you a couple of c.d.’s by the way,." Harry said, handing Louis a couple of case’s with cd’s of the artists he recommended to Louis. Louis thanked him with a kiss and took a seat on his comfortable, double bed.

"And you were right about The National,." Harry smiled, playing one of their songs. "This one is my favourite,." he smiled, then sat next to Louis.

"I love Pink Rabbits. Such a good tune,." Louis marvelled, laying down letting the words flow to his ears.

Harry lay on his back next to Louis, watching him mouth the words and smile at his favorite part.

"You’re so beautiful,." Harry whispered, his hand gently caressing Louis’ face.

Louis opened his eyes and moved so he could lean over Harry to kiss him. He kissed his lips, his cheeks, his nose and his neck. Then again on the lips, and again on the neck till his mouth reached his ear.

"You’re the most beautiful thing, I’ve ever laid my eyes on,." Louis kissed his ear, his nose poking at Harry’s curls.

Harry brought his arms around Louis, pulling him down so he could keep kissing him a bit longer and harder. He didn’t want to let him go. He wanted Louis; to be his completely and entirely.

"I want you,." Harry spoke, finally admitting that he had wanted someone for the first time in a long time. "Please, let me,." he moaned, moving his hand down to palm over Louis’ crotch.

"Uh….. On-Only if you want to,." Louis hushed, trying to not seem so desperate.

"I really want to,." Harry breathed, grabbing the end of Louis’ bum, urging him to straddle his waist.

Louis knelt down, kissing Harry while his long fingers went to unzip and unbutton Louis’ jeans. Tracing the outline of his cock through his underwear with his fingertips, Harry sexily bit down on Louis’ bottom lip.

"Oh gosh," Louis sighed as Harry sucked love bites into his collarbone. His hand finally pulled out Louis’ cock, the elastic band of his underwear moving under his balls.

He spat on his hand, too lazy to make Louis get up so he could grab the bottle of lubricant across the room. He pumped Louis slowly at first, making sure his thumb was running circles around his already pink head. Harry bucked his hips up, meeting Louis’ bum tso give him a bit of relief for the strain in his pants.

Louis pushed him away for the moment, so he could remove his shirt, and asking for permission to remove Harry’s.  


He wanted to cry even more.

Harry had more cuts on the meat of his hips and ribcage.

Louis wanted to stop everything, and just kiss every part of Harry he could. He wanted to find the pieces that Harry had cut away and put them back together because he didn’t want his boy to be broken.

But Harry soon took Louis out of his heavy-hearted -state, apologizing for his body.

"Don’t apologize, you’re beautiful,." Louis sighed, his lips falling to Harry’s ear and kissing and sucking his neck, hoping to make sweet purple marks that would last for days. Those were the only blemishes Louis wants to see on Harry’s body.

Harry’s hips kept bucking up to Louis’, so he decided to take matters into his own hands and just unbutton Harry’s jeans and reached out for his pulsating cock.

He held his hand up to Harry’s flushed mouth, “Lick,.” he ordered, and trembled at the way Harry’s pupils became even more dialated at Louis’ dominance. Grabbing hold of Harry’s impressive penis, he began flicking his wrist on the shaft, almost considering if he should use both hands, but his other hand remained stationary in Harry’s hair.

They stayed there, pleasuring each other. The moans and sighs quietly filled the room, in case Anne decided to come home early.

With a soft cry, Louis came all over Harry’s torso. Once spent, he kissed sweetly at Harry’s cheeks, then moved down to his crouch, removing his hand and taking him into his mouth.

"Oh fuck,." Harry swore, his eyes rolling into the back of his head while Louis swallowed him down. Louis reached for Harry’s hand and Harry happily took it. He took the notion as something romantic, something he wanted to do all the time with Louis. Not just blowjobs, or sex. But to hold hands with Louis. As long as he could.

"Ah..…" Harry sighed, his hips hung in the air as he came in spurts down Louis’ throat, and Louis swallowed gratefully, tasting the boy he had wanted for such a long time. He sucked at Harry’s pink head till he was dry.

Louis pulled up his pants, and went to lie next to Harry, watching his chest move up and down. He never wanted it to stop moving.

Harry gathered some of the white come on his forefinger, taking it into his mouth and humming at the taste. “You’re so wonderful,” he commented, then kissed Louis’ forehead.

***  


After a couple more weeks, it came time for Harry to get the stitches and staples from his wrists removed. He called Louis the night before, asking if Louis would go with him. He hesitated at first, nervous at the seeing the two lines that almost took his Harry away. But they’re healed now, or they should look better at least. He agreed to accompany Harry. "Thanks for coming with me," Harry sighed grabbing for Louis’ hand. Louis wanted to say something, like ‘Thanks for not dying’, but it didn’t seem really appropriate. He just pressed a quick kiss to Harry’s lips, smiling at him.

He’d fallen for him.

The boy he’d been crushing on for most of the school term had captured his heart, and built a special spot inside it just for him. Wherever Harry was, it would feel like home to Louis. He had his heart in the palm of his hands and , it would be his as long as Harry wanted it.

"Harry Styles?" the nurse called him up, and he stood.

"Do you want to stay?" Harry asked, his eyes a bit ashamed.

"No, I want to go,." Louis stood up, reaching for Harry’s hand and following the nurse down the corridor and into the doctor’s office.

"Alright Harry, so how you feeling?" she smiled, acting as friendly and happy as possible.

Louis took a seat on the bed with Harry, so he could rub his back the way he knows Harry likes.

The nurse took Harry’s height and weight and then asked them to wait a few moments while she went for the doctor.

"You don’t have to look at them if you don’t want to,." Harry sighed, he hated that the scars and cuts on his arms and body made Louis sad. Maybe if he hadn’t met, he-who-must-not-be-named, but rather and Louis instead, they wouldn’t be here. They would be back at Harry’s house listening to The Black Keys and making sweet love to each other. Nice and slow, Louis filling Harry up, or Harry filling Louis up. Either way, Harry would be kissing the place by Louis’ Adam’s apple, something Harry had learned quickly was Louis’ special spot.

"Hello, Mister Styles,." the doctor said as he came in, washing his hands, then examining Harry. "Your mum not with you?" he asked.

 

"She had to work,." Harry answered, "I er…b.. Brought my boyfriend,." hHe said, a bit nervous that they would be a bit..  non-supportive of Harry’s relationship, since the last one fucked him up so bad.

"Lovely, deep breath in,." the doctor said, listening to Harry’s breathing with his stethoscope.

"Alright, Harry," the doctor spoke once he finished listening to Harry’s heartbeat. he took a seat on his spinny chair. "Raise up your sleeves, please,." the doctor nodded at the nurse as she brought the cleaning supplies and scissors.

Louis kissed the back of Harry’s neck as he raised his sleeves, revealing the thick lines on both wrists and minor thin ones along his arm.

Louis tried his best not to cringe. He just sat behind Harry and placed his arm around his waist; kissing lightly on his shoulder.

The doctor placed some steriliser on the cut before taking out the staples. Louis thought it was odd to put sharp objects in someone that just tried to kill themselves, but then he felt bad for thinking such a thing. Then he thought about Harry actually dying and wanted to cry.

Soon, the doctor took the stitches out and cleaned Harry’s wrists. They looked much better and Louis was happy to have the opportunity to watch them heal.

"Alright, Harry. I’m prescribing you some cream to help with the healing process for the scars, and some antibiotics, and you’re still good with your anti-depressants, yeah?"

"Yes, sir,." Harry nodded, smiling.  


"Good, well, be safe and… Be happy, okay? You’re a beautiful boy, no need to be so sad,." the doctor smiled, shaking Harry’s hand.

The doctor left the room, while the nurse finalized Harry’s paperwork. “Alright Harry, here’s your prescriptions., I already sent the order into the pharamacy, so you just have to pick them up.” She handed the paper to Louis, then moved to hug Harry. “Feel better okay?” she pulled back and ran her hands light across Harry’s arms, “No more of this either. I know all about relapse, just find something else, something healthy, okay kid?”

"Okay, Cynthia,." Harry smiled and hugged her again.

She walked them back out into the reception area, whispering a “take care of him” to Louis and he smiled, promising he would,; always.

"How do you feel?"

"Good, I’m glad you’re here with me. Thank you." Harry pulled Louis in for a kiss as they walked to his car.

They got in, and went to the pharmacy, picking up Harry’s medicine then headed back to his house to get everything settled.

Lying on top of Harry’s bed they cuddled, Louis wrapping his arms around Harry, even though it felt weird because he was a bit smaller than him.

"Haz?"  


"Yeah, Lou?"  


"I’m ready to see them now." he spoke cautiously. "If it’s okay with you."

"Yeah, babe. It’s fine." Harry kissed him before he got up from his bed. He started with his jumper, taking it off so Louis could see the cuts littering his arms and torso. Then he removed his jeans and Louis cringed at the irritated-looking cuts on his thighs.

Louis stood up, following Harry’s motions and took off all his clothes apart from their briefs. He pushed Harry down lightly to lie on the bed, and he began treasuring Harry’s body in every way possible.

He started with his thighs, kissing the thin lines on the inner part, then rubbing his hand over them so Harry would know despite how they look, Louis would love them anyways.

Then moving to his hips, he kissed and licked the healed lines there, and his ribs. Finally he sat Harry up, settling in a good position between his legs. He took hold of his arm, kissing at the scars on his shoulder first, and making his way down. He avoided the two thick lines until he was done with the little ones. When he kissed the ones on Harry’s wrists, he took his time, give tiny pecks from end to end, making sure he didn’t miss a spot.

When he was done with ist all, he took Harry into his arms, and hugged him.

"I love you,." he cried, his nose burning as he attempted to hold tears back, but he let loose once he felt Harry’s tears on his shoulder; they cried holding each other. Trying to fix each other, even though one was more broken than the other. They were just two puzzle pieces that needed to be put together, and they finally were.

The tears they shared were happy, and relieved tears. Harry just wanted someone to love him, and Louis had so much love inside him he needed to give to somebody. But not just anybody, the beautiful broken boy in front of him.  


"I love you," Harry finally managed, kissing Louis and they both tasted the salt of each other’s tears. ,they cuddled a bit longer, kissing until they fell asleep under Harry’s covers, until Louis’ mum called for him to come home and watch his sisters.

They put their clothes on, and kissed while they made their way to the front door, kissing good bye four times, and saying I love you twice.  


Louis couldn’t stop smiling and swore his cheeks were hurting from his grin but he didn’t give a fuck, he was in love.  


*** "Hi, Harry," Louis smiled as answered the phone before sitting down to eat lunch with his sisters.

"Hi,." Harry smiled into his phone even though Louis couldn’t see him. "Want to.. come over tonight?" He asked, hoping it was possible to see him again, even though he’d seen him yesterday after school.

"Awe babe, I’d love to but I have to babysit. , Mum’s at work and Lot and Fizz went to stay at a friend’s house,." he explained, "Would you like to come over?"

"Can I?"

"Of course, I would love it if you did,." Louis smiled.,

"Can I.. come over now?"

"Yes darling, please."

"Okay, I love you."  


"I love you."

"I love you," Harry repeated.

"I love you, now get your arse over here,." Louis laughed, hanging up the phone.

"Was that Harry?" his mum walked into the kitchen.  


"Yeah, he’ll be over here in a bit. Is it okay if he stays the night?" Louis asked. "Yeah, yeah it’s fine. Just be.. you know.. Safe and all. Protection and stuff."

"Awe mum c’mon! Of course!" Louis laughed, earning a light slap to the shoulder.

"I can’t wait to meet him,." she smiled, sipping her tea.

"You’ll love him,." Louis smiled as he thought of the tall, green-eyed, boy. "I do,." he giggled.

 

***  


Harry arrived as soon as Jay was leaving for work.

"Hi Harry," she hugged him. "Sorry, I’m off to work but have a nice time. Love you children." She smiled, waving at them as she got into her car and drove to work.

Louis hugged Harry as soon as he got through the door., He inhaled his deep, musky scent and let his hands roam over his soft jumper.

"I’m going to start stealing your jumpers,." Louis joked, kissing him on the cheek.  


"They’d look better on you anyways," Harry smiled.

"Do you want to colour?" Louis asked, taking a seat with the twins. "I’m sure Phoebe and Daisy would like a new colouring partner,." he spoke, pulling a seat out for Harry.

"I would love to do a bit of colouring." Harry smiled at the twins as shy looks grew over their features. They tried hard to not giggle over how charming Harry already was.

Louis poured them all some tea, and they all sat on the table colouring pictures of princesses and mermaids and animals, so much colouring that Harry’s hands quickly became sore. But he liked how it occupied his mind;, he had to make simple decisions on what colour to use, and maybe even adding a caption. Louis just liked watching him in concentration whilst speaking gently with his sisters.

"So.. Harry.." Daisy spoke.

"So.. Daisy." Harry countered and Louis stifled a laugh.

"Are you and my brother going to get married?"

"Oh gosh," Louis cupped his hands over his face.

Harry tried hard to not laugh out loud, but he couldn’t keep himself from smiling. “Well, I don’t think we’re old enough now, so I dunno.” He looked at Louis, making a kissing motion with his lips, Louis returned the gesture by licking over his lips, earning an extremely red blush from Harry.

"Alright girls," Louis said after having a dinner of toasted sandwiches, and moving their little party in the lounge to watch a film. "Time for bed,." he smiled flirtily at Harry to make sure he knew it was bed time as well.

"Is it okay if I go grab my things while they get ready for bed?" Harry asked. Louis thought it was so cute how he asked permission for everything.

"Sure, babe." Louis smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

He assisted the twins getting ready for bed as, they kept nagging him on when Harry would be back, and if he would read them their bedtime story.

Harry had come back inside by then, and he happily agreed to read them a story while they lay in bed. Louis stood at the opening of the door and watched as Harry became this gentle, happy person.

He thought to himself that this is the way Harry truly is, not sad, and hurt, or full of self-hatred. He is happy, loving, and probably the best human being Louis had ever met.

"And the prince and the princess lived happily ever after,." Harry finished and the girls clapped, and Harry stood to tuck them in and kissed their foreheads goodnight.

Once Louis shut the girls’ door, he attacked Harry’s lips. Pulling him by his jumper and pushing him against the wall next to his bedroom door.

They hummed against each other, and Harry moaned lightly when Louis sucked on his tongue. Electric static went through Harry’s entire pelvic nerves.

Louis dragged him inside his room, closing and locking the door once they were in and pushed Harry against the wall again. He just wanted him so badly, he felt bad at first but he knew Harry loved it. Not the pain, but just having someone feel all over his body. Louis picked up at the back of Harry thighs, urging them around his waist till his ankles interlocked around his back. Harry’s long arms draped over Louis’ shoulders, clawing so slightly, it made Louis rut his hips up against Harry, trying to get some relief in his tight jeans and he could feel Harry’s cock getting bigger, and heavier.

"Louis,.. I want you. Please,." Harry gasped, taking a moment for air.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, completely,." Harry smiled, kissing him and unlocking his ankles so he could stand on his shaky knees and begin removing Louis’ clothes.

Goosebumps rose whereever Harry touched Louis. Louis had never felt so loved, and honestly he never really thought anyone would want or accept his love. And here he is, standing almost naked in front of the boy he’d thought would never even like him.

Once he was only left in briefs, he begans taking Harry’s clothes off, kissing at his neck while he unbuttoned his pants and slipped them down to his ankles. He took off Harry’s shirt and pulled him close, hugging him.

"Lay down,." he whispered, and Harry did as he was told.

Louis pulled out a bottle of lubricant, and a condom from his drawer and went to sit in between Harry’s legs.

"I love you," he said as kissed the fading scars on the insides of Harry’s thighs. "I love everything you are, and was, and will be." He kissed the scars on his hips and ribcage. "I love you so much, it hurts, but in the best kind of way ." He kissed Harry on the lips.

Harry felt a bit emotional;, he had been told someone loved him like that, but no one had really shown it. And in that few seconds and Louis’ tender kisses, Harry knew he wanted a forever with Louis.

"Make love to me, Lou," Harry spoke. "Love me in every way possible,." he said, trying to not sound so needy.

Louis gave a cute giggle that prompted the butterflies in Harry’s stomach to go crazy.

He pulled Harry’s boxers off, and poured some lube on his fingers.

"Can you uhh.. warm it up a bit? I don’t like it cold, sorry."

"It’s fine babe, me neither to be honest,." Louis smiled, then worked the prep between his fingers, till it was a bit warmer. He circled Harry’s rim with his fingers, finally he pressed in his forefinger, circling around the muscles again and pumping his finger while he did so. Harry nodded for him to add another, and he pumped both those fingers in while Harry’s hands grasped the sheets.

Soon Louis had three fingers pumping inside Harry, and waited untill he was given the go ahead.

He slipped the rubber sheath down his already leaking length, then leaned on Harry whispering, “I’m going to take care of you.”

He returned back to his position in between Harry’s legs, taking his throbbing dick into his mouth, sucking lightly. He wanted it to be all about Harry’s pleasure.

"Please Lou..…Fuck I need you inside me, please,." Harry cried, his cheeks turning red as his head pushed back into the pillows.

Louis smiled, sucking lastly on the head of Harry’s cock, making sure it made a “pop” noise when he took his mouth off. He licked his lips, and leaned over Harry’s torso, intertwining their hands at the side of Harry’s head as he pushed in slowly.

They both let out empty moans, their mouths in “o” forms, as they were finally connected in every way.

Louis stayed there for a moment, keeping his hips at a soft curve as he pulled out and pushed back in.

"L-Lou,." Harry stuttered.

"Yes, babe?" Louis breathed against his neck.

"Can you uh..…lean to the left, a little bit?" Harry asked, because he already knew where his special spot was.

And Louis loves to please Harry.

They gasped quietly as Louis rocked in and out of Harry, hitting his prostate with a gentle, delicious force. He kissed at his neck and gripped his hand lightly every so oftern. Harry’s nails dug into Louis’ back, making red lines on it. Louis liked it though, he liked it a lot.

Louis grabbed Harry’s leaking cock and pumped it quickly out of time with his slow thrusts. He wanted Harry to feel as good as he possibly could.

Harry’s gorgeous curls were being pressed against the navy blue pillow case and so much pleasure was coursing through him, he almost didn’t want to come. He wanted to stay like this for as long as possible.

But that was impossible, being that him and Louis were so close to falling off the edge and into that amazing, pleasure-filled release.

Harry knew when Louis let out a small grunt that he was close.

"Louis..wait..…" he whispered, "Pull out. Pull out please."

Louis did as soon as he heard “pull out” the second time. “Are you okay?” he asked. “Did I hurt you?” he panicked, even though he still had a raging hard-on.

"No, I want you to come inside me." Harry sat up to remove Louis’ condom.  


"Are you sure?"

"I want to be yours, Louis. Make me yours." Harry kissed his lips before lying on his back again. Louis smiled because Harry always seemed to be full of surprises.

Soon  Louis was thrusting into him again, at the same rate and pumping his cock at an even faster one.

He sped up a bit when he saw Harry’s core tighten and he took short breaths before releasing white peals over his torso and Louis’ hand.

Just watching Harry’s beautiful, pleasure-filled face, Louis released himself inside of Harry, riding out his high giving Harry what he wanted. He fell on top of Harry, laying there while they both caught their breaths.

There was nothing to be said. They had already proved how much they loved each other.  


Louis took hold of Harry’s hand and led him into the bathroom, where they could shower together. Kissing under the warm spray, both of them getting drunk on their love-filled lips and whispered promises.

***

The following week after their “slumber party,” Anne had asked Louis to join her for lunch. He was a bit nervous, and scared that he’d done something that she didn’t approve.

He met her outside a cafe of her choosing and they both sat silently, but not awkwardly, as they sipped tea and picked at scones and biscuits.

"So,.. Louis, please don’t be nervous about this. I just..…I wanted to give you a little bit more on Harry, because I know you’re too nice and loving to ask, so I’ll just tell you,." Anne began and placed down her tea.

"The summer, when I first discovered his cutting, his then-boyfriend, was very abusive to him. He would hit him, and tell him ugly things, and I constantly begged Harry to just give up the relationship, it wasn’t like they were married or anything. Harry said he loved him regardless. But I knew he was lying." Anne eyes went down. "Then eventually one day, Harry called it quits. A few days later, his boyfriend killed himself. He left a dirty note to Harry, saying God awful things like "it’s your fault" and "sorry I couldn’t make you happy" and other things like that. That’s when Harry began cutting everywhere he had touched him except his face and things. Like he was trying to cut the memories away."

Louis had a lump in his throat, and he wanted to kill the asshole that made Harry feel the way he did. But he was already dead. so..

"But the first night you two went out, he threw away all his blades." Anne placed her hand on Louis’ forearm. "And it’s all because of you. You made him better,." she leaned over and hugged him, "I’m so grateful that you helped my baby boy be happy again." One of her tear drops landed on his shirt, while dozens of his landed on hers.

*** On their second month anniversary Harry had Louis over for dinner and a film, but they quickly skipped the film and went straight to what they were both desperate for Louis laid under Harry as they kissed slowly, . Harry’s tongue massaging Louis’ and licking the roof of his mouth because he knew Louis loved the way it tickled. He rested between Louis’ legs, moving his hips from time to time, but he never thought about topping with Louis. He’d never topped with he-who-must-not-be-named.

"Lou..…" Harry pulled away for a moment to catch his breath and sat back as Louis’ thighs remained around his waist.

"Yeah, babe?" Louis smiled, his extra pink lips contrasting so beautifully with his blue eyes.

"C-can..…can I…" Harry began, but he was nervous that Louis would get upset with him, just like / _he_ / used to.

"Can you top?" Louis asked.

Harry nodded his head in shame, not facing Louis.

Louis sat up and began taking off his clothes, and Harry’s shirt. “Where do you keep your lube?” he asked, and Harry bit his lip trying to not smile in excitement.  


He kissed Louis, “Just lay down. I’m going to take care of you.”  Harrysat up to remove his jeans and boxers, walking nude to his drawer to retrieve lube.

"No condom,." Louis called. “‘M yours remember?" He took his lip between his teeth.

Harry blushed as Louis lifted his legs up, showing his perfect, pink hole and Harry’s mouth watered. He ducked down and kissed the insides of Louis’ perfect thighs, and licked from his shaft up.  Louis closed his eyes, feeling Harry’s plump lips lightly kiss uphis thighs, taking deep breaths trying to not to get into it so much. He’d be so embarrassed if came early.

Harry’s long tongue soon licked Louis’ rim and his eyes shot open.

"Fuck," Louis sighed.

Harry tried not to smile, he felt so accomplished at the fact that he could please Louis so easily. He licked more and more against Louis’ centre, sucking at the rim,; willing the muscles to stretch better. He licked more inside, even spitting a bit so his thumb could stretch the top of Louis’ rim, while Harry continued sucking.

Louis was a moaning mess above Harry’s head. His cock was red, hard, and already leaking a bit. He felt like crying because he wanted to come so bad, but he only wanted to come from Harry’s cock. His hands gripped the sheets, his back arching a bit so Harry’s mouth could get closer to him. But it came time where, he just couldn’t fucking wait anymore.

"Harry..…please babe. I need you now, please,." Louis sighed, his eyes closing as Harry sat up from between his legs, wiping the spit from his rosy red lips and smiling with his perfect dimples.

Harry placed a generous amount of prep on his fingers and coated his cock so Louis would be more comfortable and he could move better in and out of Louis.

Like Louis had with him before, they joined hands, placing them by Louis’ head as Harry pushed inside of him. Louis’ head shot back against the pillow as Harry’s cock hit the place Louis needed him to be.

There were times when Harry just wanted simply to wreck Louis for hours and hours on end, but in this moment, right now, he wanted to go slow,; he wanted Louis to be his everything. He leaned down tokiss Louis’ neck while his hips moved in slow thrusts, going all the way out and all the way back in again.

"I love you so much," Harry whispered, as Louis’ free hand came around to his back, scratching lightly on his soft skin. "You make me so happy," Harry kissed his cheek, and his neck, and his nose and all over Louis’ face because he wanted Louis to know how much he loved him and the little things that made him, him.

Harry’s thrusts became a bit quicker, but they were still passionate and both of them wanted to pause this moment, and enjoy the love they were making. Write down the feelings they were feeling. Look into each other’s eyes and remember that whereever they are, they’re home with each other. They’re safe together.

With a soft bite on  Harry’s shoulder, Louis came with a muted cry, drops of come landing on his stomach and against Harry’s torso.

Harry wanted to cry at the beautiful sight of Louis falling apart underneath him. He felt so special for Louis allowing him to see the vulnerable, beautiful side of him. And with one more thrust, he let go.

***  


They lay in Harry’s bed still covered in come, but they didn’t really care for the moment. Facing each other, their hands caressed and touched one another’s faces. They would never get tired of each other.

"Hold on babe," Harry whispered, and leaned over to his desk drawer next to his bed, pulling out a cutely folded paper.

"What’s that?" Louis asked, as he watched Harry unfold the paper and hand it to him.

"I wrote this for you,." Harry smiled, and kissed him.

Louis smiled, his eyes watering a bit, but he tried hard not to let his emotions get the better of him. He stared at the blue lines and neatly printed letters, and began reading, his heartbeat speeding up as he began reading the words Harry had carefully written for him..

_Safe_

_I never knew what the word meant._

_But then you came into my life and I knew_

_exactly what I had been missing._

_You make me feel so safe and so fucking_

_happy I want to kiss you all the time, and make you pancakes._

_Bring you tea in bed._

_Take care of you when you’re sick._

_Make love to you._

_Be with you forever._

_Because all I see is a forever with you._

_All I want is a forever with you._

_You’re the one that helps me get through the worst days,_

_and the even worse nights._

_I lay there, waiting for sleep to_

_take over because I know when I wake up,_

_I’ll see your beautiful_

_face again, and those blue eyes, and your long eyelashes, and_

_those cute crinkles by your eyes because you smile so much_

_when you’re with me._

_Every time I’m with you, every second we’re together,_

_I become more of_

_myself again. You make me, me again._

_We’re puzzle pieces._

_Safely put together._  


Louis wiped the stray tear that fell from his eye, and kissed Harry, running his hand through his soft messy curls and pulled him close into his body. They stayed there warm in Harry’s bed, safe together, like perfect puzzle pieces.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think pretty please (:  
> muchlove, ari xx


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